I'm a very tough customer and hard to please. (Maybe that's why I need marriage therapy). I'm also a medical professional with over 25 years of clinical experience. My bar is set very high. I know what kind of work I provide and it's difficult to find others that provide the same excellence.
I knew my husband and I needed a marriage intervention as we were considering separation. I've been in therapy on/off throughout my life and it has helped me tremendously. I'm a huge advocate in behavioral health and care. One thing that didn't seem right to me about weekly therapy is the appointments are only 1 hour in length? I don't believe that's long enough and it's stressful (for the client and the therapist) to get everything out you want to discuss, while looking at the clock. My hubs and I have gone to marriage therapy in the past, a few times. It's a process for sure and patience is necessary. I knew this time, I didn't want to wait every week to attempt to resolve our issues in 1 hour (or 50 minutes as most therapists provide).
This time was different. I hadn't been familiar with the term "Intensive" therapy. For impatient people like myself, it made perfect sense. I would rather make a QT weekend out of it and deep dive into our marital discord.
I first looked in my local area but marriage intensives were not offered? The closest one was 3 hours away? So my wheels begin to spin...why not make a beach get-a-way weekend out of it? Marriage therapy AND the Beach? A perfect duo.
I googled "Beach marriage Intensives" and Oceanside Private Practice (Jen Miller) was first to populate on my google search. Her website, experience, certifications, credentials, description and blog immediately tugged my heart. I loved everything I read (her philosophy, education, Itinerary, pricing, etc.). Jen was literally the first Intensive I researched. I soon learned, none of the others would compare. The Researcher "shopper" in me of course had to make a excel spreadsheet comparing what the other Intensives offered, compared to Jen. I researched about 30 marriage Intensives throughout the country. After I spoke with Jen briefly on the phone, it was an immediate confirmation for me. Jen not only shared she was a Christian, but she guided me what to look for as I was comparing and selecting our therapist. She started teaching/helping me from the second we spoke and I wasn't even her client yet! I'm lucky in that my husband trusted who I selected without any questions asked. He knows I'm a tough sale and usually make good business selections.
So off to the Sunshine State we went. I liked that Jen texts -it meant a lot to me as text is now the preferred (and mine) preferred communication. I of course respected her time, privacy and didn't take advantage of this. (I hope not-lol). I texted Jen when we landed and she was so chill about the time and in-corporating "down time" into our intensive weekend. That meant a lot to me because I never felt pressured with the "time" or "schedule".
We decided to get situated and started relaxing at our hotel before meeting Jen. We drove over to Jens office that evening for our initial meeting. I knew she was gonna be attractive because of her picture on the website. First impressions are everything right? I loved her tight pants and high stiletto heels. Jen began by confidently introducing herself and explaining her Gottman Marriage qualifications and years of expertise. We knew instantly this woman was not only beautiful, but a very smart clinician. I realized at that time how many therapists I saw in the past that were not certified or properly qualified?
Jen had all the qualifications, years of clinical experience, an engaging personality and witty sense of humor. She didn't overwhelm us on our first meeting and was mindful to have the session short so my husband and I could get dinner. Tomorrow was the day we were gonna start! I was of course concerned my husband wasn't gonna bond with her, what wife wouldn't? Women are easier to get to therapy right? I could tell (almost immediately) she impressed the socks off my husband. He knew instantly she was a brilliant mind. This gave me great relief as I was pretty sure Jen was a fantastic match for us from the very beginning. I honestly think God led us to her.
Jen was extremely fair with us. Her expertise and gift of discernment was spot-on for us. It was like Jen knew us our whole lives? Her personality is unique as she utilized her therapy skills in a perfect non-judgmental way. She can be quirky, passionate, brilliant, tough, gentle, all at the same time. It's amazing how much therapy you cover in one day of Intensive. It wasn't overwhelming and she was very cognoscente of extended break time if needed. She pretty much left the timing and schedule up to us. Her office is located right near a gorgeous ocean pier in which my husband and I walked over to on one of the breaks.
What was different about Jen was that we each had a tablet to write our "task" list. Meaning, when we were talking through an obstacle and an action step was required, she would remind us to write it down. I've never had a Therapist be so passionate about healthy and necessary "intentional" change.
The next day was simply gorgeous weather and I thought I would take a chance, and ask her if we could do therapy at our beach hotel. Jen was so excited about this and came to our hotel for that days session, while my husband and I were in swimsuits! It was the best atmosphere as we selected a spot that was private. It was bliss.
Another item I want to mention is Jen never kept track of our therapy time or looked at her watch. She totally based the timing and schedule on us and how we were feeling. I actually tallied up the hours because I wanted to be fair and not go over our time! Never once was Jen worried about it as shes completely passionate, dedicated and loyal to her business and clients. My husband and I learned new techniques for communication, how to navigate heated discussions, how to speak in a non-threatening way and so much more. Jen also provides follow up hours via Skype which is so instrumental. Everything was peachy down in Florida, now we're back home ..what do we do?!
Jen truly cares deeply for her clients. She doesn't take notes while your speaking and remembers all of your details. My life is forever changed since meeting her. I have more confidence, a much better understanding, affirmation, validation and so much more there's not enough room to list. I told my friends it was the best money I spent (except my Dog-haha). I referred my friends to her website/blog as I personally identified with almost every blog entry.
Your marriage is an investment. There is no price-tag. If you select Jen as your marriage Intensive therapist, know you are selecting the best there is. There's no one more dedicated, qualified, caring and passionate about her work. I would refer anyone to her. Don't waste your time and money on anyone else as they will prove to be subpar. Meeting Jen and looking back, I now know this."