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in your relationship

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Not Your Mother's Marriage

Relationship tips from a couples therapy specialist


Hello there and welcome to my blog, Not Your Mother's Marriage.  I'm thrilled to have you here and hope you will find the information I post beneficial for yourself as well as your relationship.  I'd like to take a quick moment to introduce myself and the vision behind this blog.  Thank you so much for your interest. I truly look forward to connecting with you through this material.


When You Love the Dog More

Are you a dog lover?  I am.  The pure joy and unconditional love dogs provide is priceless.  Does your face beam when you walk in the door after a long, hard day and your precious pup is there to greet you with every ounce of excitement, as though you've been gone a year?  Do you drop to your knees, embracing your fur baby, soaking in the pure joy of the reunion?  That's awesome.  But let me ask you a question, do you greet your partner with the same warm reception?  Do you embrace, kiss, and engage as though you've truly missed each other?  Journey with me as we explore what happens when you love the dog more.

Breaking Up Better

Are you at the end of your rope with your significant other and ready to cut, burn, or gnaw it off to get away from the dysfunctional relationship?  It's okay.  Take a deep breath.  You are not alone, my friend.  Over half of all relationships fail and sometimes jumping ship truly is the right thing to do.  But just because you end the union doesn't mean you have to walk away with resentment and bitterness oozing out of your heart.  If you're ready to call it quits, allow me to encourage you to take a few easy steps that will help you not only break up better, but quicken the healing process.

The Relationship Vacation

Are you in desperate need of a vacation from your relationship?  Are you dying to step away from the chaos, dysfunction, and discord?  Do you need a breather from the constant fighting, conflict, or silence?  I don't blame you.  Relationships are tough; hence the divorce rate is soaring above sixty percent in the United States.  If you're ready to exhale the hurt and resentment and inhale peace and serenity, then venture inside as I give you a different perspective on just how you can take that relationship vacation that is not only overdue, but that you so genuinely deserve.

Disrespect:  The Relationship Killer

There is an all too common yet deadly dynamic plaguing couples everywhere.  It’s as easy to spot as it is to get sucked into.  It comes in all shapes and sizes, can be seen and heard.  It creeps into the relationship slowly but once engrained, becomes the norm that spoils love, creates disconnection, and breeds resentment.  The relationship killer I speak of is disrespect.


Get Your Needs Met

With the divorce rate soaring over sixty percent, couples all around the world are suffering through unhappy relationships.  One of the main issues perpetuating this dissatisfaction is the fact that one or both partners are not getting their needs met.  If you're sick of feeling unloved, unappreciated, unimportant, and like the last priority of your partner, then this blog post was written just for you.  Read on to find out how to get your needs met in a consistent, authentic way.  You deserve it!

Quit Living in Misery

Are you miserable in your relationship?  Does coming home from work at the end of the day feel more like a prison sentence than a reward?  Do feelings of loneliness plague you even though your partner is a mere few feet away?  Do you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, and hopeless that your relationship will ever regain the passion and connection you once thrived on?  If you're in the thick of misery and OVER IT, then read on, my friend.

Preparing Your Marriage for the Journey of Infertility

You’ve followed the prescribed path…first comes love…then marriage…now you’re working on filling that baby carriage and my, has it taken longer than you expected.  Maybe you thought it was stress or diet or timing.  Maybe you read a blog, tried different positions, stood on your head for five minutes after doing the deed.  But after all the old wives tales you sought professional help.  Hoping for best case scenario, but being smacked in the face with infertility.  What now?  Now you equip, empower, and strengthen your marriage.  Find out how inside.


Battle of the Libidos

They say opposites attract, which in my experience, rings true in most relationships.  Oftentimes we pick partners that, by their very nature, compliment who we are as individuals.  Extroverts date introverts.  Early risers date late nighters.  However, that complimentary nature can be more a thorn in the side than a bonus when sex drive is the difference being examined.  A very common theme tackled in couples therapy is what I like to call the battle of the libidos.  One partner’s sex drive is through the roof while the other’s is barely above sea level.  Inevitably, and understandably, this is bound to cause conflict in the relationship. 

Wife's Guide to Handling a Horny Husband

With all the talk about the pink pill, it is clear women are looking for an intervention, a new way to keep up with or at the very least handle the high libidos of their husbands.  Well wives, I have heard your cry and am here to deliver an alternative.  Read on for some practical tips and, most importantly, a perspective shift sure to deliver you from merely being a 'dutiful' wife and allow you to step into the role you truly deserve as a...

Husband's Guide to Getting Laid

Husbands all across the world in all kinds of marriages have something in common:  they want to get lucky with their wives more often.  Well husbands, as a couples therapy specialist, I am here to offer you a few pieces of advice for you to consider on your journey to getting laid.



Let's Talk About Sex

Caution:  Short term side effects of reading this article may include sweaty palms, racing heart, redness in the face, and uncomfortable conversations with your significant other.  Long term side effects if applied correctly will likely result in improved connection, increased frequency of intimacy, a better sex life, and overall a more desirable relationship. 


The Vacancy Factor

Nothing's worse than that sinking feeling of knowing it's just too little, too late, especially in relationships.  But it happens, and on not such a rare occasion.  So many people have experienced this emotion that when JoJo released a song with this title back in 2006 the lyrics resonated enough for the single to hit platinum.  While I'm not about to belt out a ballad leaving you wishing you'd never asked, I do want to let you in on a little secret.



Hot Date

It's true what they say, passion dies off after marriage.  It's a sad fact of life.  Gone are the days of excitement and desire.  Not that you have to be miserable in holy matrimony, but surely you're not getting all dolled up for Friday night.  Or are you?  Just because the natural course of the relationship will ebb and flow doesn't mean you can't take control and intentionally pump your marriage full of spice.  If you're ready to take hold of the reigns, to revitalize your marriage, then this article was written just for you.  Read on for the dos and don'ts of dating your spouse.


Couples Counseling

Fighting Fair

Let's face it, no relationship is immune to conflict.  Whether your relationship is full of love or oozing with hate, these tips can definitely improve the way you and your partner overcome discord as a couple.  Beyond the typical "share your feelings", these clinical strategies will demonstrate to your partner you're serious about changing and prove the two of you can overcome difficulties together.  If you're tired of having the same arguments over and over with no resolve, it's time to try a new approach.

Intimacy Counseling

 The Roommate Epidemic

You've been together for years and know each other all too well.  You've settled into a routine.  Life has become predictable.  You know you have a lot to be grateful for, but you can't help but wonder if this is really all marriage has to offer.  What happened to the excitement, the passion?Where did spontaneity run off to?  You guess this is normal, but does it have to be your normal?


Private Couple's Retreat

There comes a time in every relationship that a vacation just won’t do.  Sure, the two of you are in desperate need of a getaway, but something deep within urges for more than just sand, sun, and fun.  While you could both use some rejuvenation, so too could your relationship.  If this resonates with you, then you have come to the right place at just the right time.

Marriage Counseling

Marriage Revolution

As with everything, the status quo for marriage has changed over the course of time.  What was once the norm is now considered absurdity.  Couples getting married in today's society have a much different perspective on commitment.  But is it for the best?  If we want our marriages to succeed, if we want that 'happily ever after', we must be willing to intentionally create it.  Passionate, desired marriages are possible, even for the most disconnected couple.


Marriage Therapy

Daydreaming Divorce

It's midnight.You just had another blowout and you're both fuming.  An ultimatum was given and divorce was threatened.  Now, with tears still in your eyes, you're scouring the internet, looking for any sign hope still exists.  Yes, you're considering divorce, but have you considered couples therapy?  This short read might be just the antidote to the demise of a relationship full of possibilities.

Relationship TherapyTop Five Relationship Fails

So you want a passionate, desired relationship.  But are your very own behaviors preventing you from enjoying that ideal union?  Let's look at five patterns not uncommon in today's society that are sure to kill the passion and suck the desire right out of your marriage.  If you realize you too have fallen victim to these unhealthy norms, fear not, fixing the issues may be easier than you think.


The Ghost of Lovers Past

Oh love.  A story old as time.  Funny how one simple little word can immediately conjure visions of fairy tales and romance.  Love brings with it a sense of hope, newness, and stability.  It takes us to a place of butterflies and rainbows, sunshine and good hair.  A similarly ancient and profound story is that of love’s evil twin, heartbreak.  What a stark contrast between those two concepts.  Opposite sides of the same coin.  One is not possible without the other and yet having one leaves us vulnerable to the other.  Both equally powerful and life changing.  Today we’re going to focus on the darker of the two.  Today we’re going to talk about surprising ways your relationship can affect you years after the first tinge of heartbreak is felt.

The truth about "Becky with the good hair"

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or are otherwise inclined to avoid celebrity gossip at all costs, I’m sure by now you’ve heard the uproar about Becky.  Becky, Becky, Becky.  In some ways our very own modern-day Marsha.  Social sites are aglow with speculation and the centuries’ old meaning of this Becky character and who she represents in today’s society.  For the purposes of this article, we’re going to stick with the basic relational conceptualization of Becky.